12.21.06

I’m allergic to bivalves. Actually, I’ve never been tested, but when you projectile vomit every time you eat a scallop, oyster, mussel or clam, you sort of figure there’s no need to spend the money at the doctor’s office.

The best, and last, time was when I was 23 and I was having a lovely scallop lunch in Virginia Beach with my family. As they were driving me back up the highway to my apartment in Williamsburg, we stopped 6 times for the purging. I still remember staggering around a construction site that was on the median between east and westbound traffic on Rt. 64. I vaguely heard my mother screaming to my 16 year old brother, “Tom, get out of the car and make sure she’s OK.” Thanks, Mom! Ha ha. I love my big family – we have so many legends I sometimes don’t even remember who starred in a particular story. But I’ll never forget the scallop story- I own that one.

I do love all other kinds of fish and seafood, though. And scallops on the opposite side of the table don’t bother me a bit.